Having a Divorce Party Helped Me Heal – Here’s Why You Should Try It, Too
[caption id="attachment_63463" align="aligncenter" width="482"] Photo courtesy of Latina Moms.[/caption]
As a generation that grew up watching fairy tales where the princess is rescued by the prince, gets married, and lives happily ever after (Disney, I’m looking at you), we are all under the expectation that this is how life should be. Falling in love and getting married is the ultimate goal in many people’s lives. It’s a promise to one’s happiness. However, this is far from reality. While I do not want to knock down those happily married couples, the truth is that many marriages wind up in divorce. When I married my husband, I thought this was the start of a long journey filled with peace and harmony. It was absolutely disheartening when I realized that we were not working out three years down the road. After spending two years wanting to hang on to each other, it was just doing us more harm than good trying to stay together. Once the decision was made, I picked up the phone to tell mis comadres that once our divorce was officially finalized, I wanted to celebrate. Of course, this turned into a “coming of age” divorce party, and now that some time has passed, I realized this was a key factor in helping me heal and move on.
Mark The Start of a New Chapter
When you get a divorce, your life completely changes seemingly overnight. You now have no romantic partner and are forced to focus on yourself and your children. It is difficult to let go of the past and what could have been, but having a divorce party allows you to accept and understand that you are now starting a new chapter of your life. A divorce party was cathartic because it allowed me to cry, express all my emotions, and, yes, trash the dress. This party reminded me that I had the opportunity to start all over with a clean slate, a blessing not many have.
Self-Care Became a Priority
At my divorce party, I received a lot of gifts from my friends. Self-care packages, movies, gift cards - you name it. I had spent so much time feeling lost in my marriage that I had completely lost my identity. I stopped taking care of myself due to feelings of insufficiency. My loved ones helped me realize that this was a time to learn to love myself again and take care of myself, not only as a mother but also as a woman. Prioritizing self-care allowed me to heal and truly nurture my mental health so that I could slowly (and graciously) move on.
Support Through Your Journey
Some people may think a divorce party is because you are a stingy, angry ex-spouse that just wants to break things and get drunk. While I do admit the latter was fun and cathartic, there was no better feeling than having the support of my family and friends. There is nothing like having your loved ones be beside you as you start the next chapter of your life. This stressful and strenuous time requires love and encouragement from friendly faces. Without that, you will inevitably feel lonely and have a hard time healing from this difficult situation. In the end, whether you want to celebrate your divorce by smashing a wedding dress shaped piñata or trashing your wedding dress, it is the first step towards your new and improved life. You got this, amiga.