I Love My Children, But I Don't Enjoy Being a Mother
[caption id="attachment_63498" align="aligncenter" width="466"] Photo courtesy of Latina Moms.[/caption]
What does love mean to you? Is it feeling such a deep connection to someone or something that you are willing to look past everything? Is it an overwhelming emotion in which you care for someone so deeply you cannot find the words to show it or express it?I love my children with all my heart. Sincerely, I do. But, I would be lying if I said that I enjoy being a mother. Motherhood is probably one of the most selfless jobs out there. Your whole identity becomes embedded with taking care of your children and giving them a safe, happy childhood. Our children, however, seldom show gratitude. Because we are their mothers, we are expected to make them the center of our world, and our children are also conditioned to believe this. In other words, it is our job. So, we receive very little praise or time off to ourselves.Of course, our children did not ask to come into this world, and more importantly, it is not their job to fulfill any deep-rooted desires we may have. However, this does not mean that you have to put your identity as a woman to the side for the sake of your children. I admit that I was the first to become so absorbed into my children’s lives that I completely forgot who I was. I made sure to make all of life’s small moments valuable. I taught them to love themselves and what it meant to live in peace and harmony. I wanted to give them the world because I love them with every ounce of my being, but in the process of doing so, I have realized I simply don’t always enjoy being a mother. I mean, come on. To have to force myself to get up every day when I am not up for it seems unfair, don’t you think? Why is it socially acceptable for our spouses and children to have a bad day, but when it comes to being a mother, it is such a rewarding experience that all ‘negative’ emotions simply trickle away? I really believe there is more to life than the stress of fighting with little Ms. Personality because she doesn’t want crust on her pizza or because she can’t watch Encanto for the hundredth time because it’s time to go to bed. I don’t have to like it all to be a good mother. I am human and have a right to feel irked by these things. I am allowed to express that my children really do suck the energy out of me. In the end, showing my children that I am allowed to express myself and practice self-care is me teaching them that it is perfectly okay to prioritize themselves. Isn’t it?