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Latina Moms

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Breaking Down Walls and Building Safe Boundaries in Your Family

Posted by Fabiola Mejia in Life, Mind + Body on 01/24/23

Breaking Down Walls and Building Safe Boundaries in Your Family Latina Moms

How often have we heard fairy tales where the princess must be rescued by the prince as if the princess was incapable of saving herself? 

For centuries, females have been looked at as the weaker gender that has to be protected. This is especially true in the Latino community, where women are often overprotected within families from a very young age. 

Young Latinas are taught even as children to be cautious and motherly, learning to help their mothers in the kitchen, take care of younger siblings, and not be in the presence of other males alone. 

These overprotective practices have stretched to not allowing Latinas to enjoy many things like sleepovers, social gatherings with friends, and even dating. 

I remember feeling so frustrated as a preteen when I was invited to my first sleepover, being so excited to ask my mom about it, and being met with a big “no” and ongoing lectures about it being dangerous to sleep somewhere other than your own bed. 

Growing Up with Confusing Roles

Many Latinas can agree that they were very much aware of gender roles from a young age. Boys got much more freedom and were allowed to be “tough,” whereas girls were reminded to be gentle and obedient. 

Even younger brothers were told to look after their sisters because girls weren’t always taught to defend themselves. 

Though this narrative has certainly changed over the years, and many Latinas are now focusing on their careers and education, it’s still heavily ingrained in Latino culture for girls to be motherly and “wifey” material while men are viewed as the “strong ones” and breadwinners of the family. 

These ideas are completely outdated. Allowing kids to share responsibilities and chores equally while encouraging them to be open about their emotions can positively impact them and is a great way of leaving these toxic gender roles behind. 

A recent topic many Latina moms on social media have brought up is how their parents would force them to hug and kiss other adult family members as a form of greeting. This was done to show that the children were respectful and well-raised. But many realized how unhealthy this custom was and how it often made the kids feel unnecessarily uncomfortable. 

You can imagine just how this can be particularly confusing to a Latina who is used to being overprotected but is also forced to hug and kiss an older relative without question. 

Thankfully, many Latino parents are breaking this custom and teaching their kids that they always have a choice regarding their bodies. One of the best tools a child can learn is to have boundaries; it’s our job as parents to teach them how to utilize this.

The Benefits of Setting Boundaries

Learning about boundaries is something I have had to learn as an adult because it was not something I was aware of growing up. While our parents usually have our best interests in mind, it’s not always conveyed in a way easily understood by a developing mind. 

It is common in many Latino households that privacy is not always given, especially to children and adolescents. Parents will barge into their kids’ rooms without knocking or telling other family members what their children have told them in secret, causing embarrassment or shame. 

Yet, sex and anything surrounding our bodies was not openly discussed. Shielding kids from these topics does more damage than good, and parents shouldn’t feel scared to engage in these important conversations when they reach an appropriate age. 

My own therapist has told me that it’s always better for a child to hear about sex or the dangers of drugs from the parents first than from another source. Building a bridge of trust from the beginning will help kids to use their best judgment later on in life and break down barriers such as doubt and fear.

Another great piece of advice my therapist regularly reminds me of is that it’s okay to say no, even to family. 

When I became a mother, my family had even more unsolicited advice they needed to give me about how to raise my kids and be a proper mother. Instead of being encouraging, there were many times I was told I was doing something wrong and setting my kids up for failure. 

Learning how to walk away from these negative conversations was a difficult journey but one that has been crucial for my mental health. I still struggle with letting people overstep in my life and have trust issues due to not setting boundaries young, but learning this now has helped me to recognize what is acceptable treatment and what not to take to heart.

These are exactly the things I want my own kids to be aware of early on. I have built a good foundation of trust between us, and my eldest daughter knows she can come to me for anything. 

My job now is to care for this foundation so that my daughters don’t grow up with fear or feel incapable. More importantly, teaching them to have safe boundaries, whether with family or with friends, will help them to prioritize their mental health now so that they will not have to heal from unnecessary pain years later as adults. 

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A new year has begun, and we're all ready to pack A new year has begun, and we're all ready to pack our closets with the latest fashion trends. 2022 will be a year of change for everyone, and fashion will be no exception as we will see the return of some daring styles while maintaining the comfort of life working from home — thank you, COVID 🙄🙄.⠀
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From daring catsuits to comfortable oversized jackets, 2022 will be the year to spice up our closet. Visit the link in our bio for more!⠀
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At Latina Moms, we've kicked off the year in the b At Latina Moms, we've kicked off the year in the best possible way: by returning to Hogwarts. Twenty years after the Harry Potter saga conquered our hearts, we’ve enjoyed a new adventure with our children -- and boy, was it worth it! Our favorite characters -- who are now our children's favorites -- have taken us on a trip to the magical world wrapping ourselves in goodies this time as a family. Now streaming on @HBOMax. Did you watch the Return to Hogwarts Special? How did it feel?

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We are already diving into 2022, and it is time to We are already diving into 2022, and it is time to start working on all those resolutions we promised ourselves before the year began. ⠀
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These simple-but-effective steps will help you stay true to your resolutions!⠀
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More in the link in bio.⠀
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Yoga has gained tremendous popularity over the yea Yoga has gained tremendous popularity over the years, especially during the pandemic — it became the meditation method of choice for many. ⠀
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A practice that combines physical exercise with meditation to achieve a greater connection with your body, mind, and soul, perfect to start this year, right? 🧘🏽‍♀️🧘🏽⠀
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The best thing about returning to the magical worl The best thing about returning to the magical world of Harry Potter has been being able to enjoy it as a family. We enjoyed our own version of the Sorting Hat at home, and we had a member of each house in our living room! From the bravery of Gryffindor to the loyalty of Hufflepuff and the intelligence of Ravenclaw to the ambition of Slytherin, we have reminisced together about our favorite saga. And you? Which house do you belong to?⠀
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Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: #ReturnToHogwarts is now streaming on @HBOMax. @PalanteHBOMax  #ReturnToHogwarts #PalanteHBOMax #hbomaxpartner
We start 2022 on the right foot with a new lunar c We start 2022 on the right foot with a new lunar cycle that will recharge our energies and push us to achieve our purposes. 🌑⠀
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We’re talking about the New Moon that begins this January 2nd in Capricorn, the sign of discipline.⠀
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Taking spirituality into account can help you star Taking spirituality into account can help you start the New Year with determinations — all you need to do is tweak your spiritual ritual. 🔮⠀
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The beginning of a new year might be a bit confusi The beginning of a new year might be a bit confusing. If you’re like us, you might go through brief panics when you try to determine whether a particular task is part of your daily to-do list or is part of your New Year’s resolutions. ⠀
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