Motherhood is a unique experience for every woman. Among new feelings and sensations, it is also full of complications. However, when it comes to balancing motherhood with our sexuality, mothers tend to sacrifice our intimacy for the needs of our children.
Worse, if we don’t fit into the traditional heterosexual mother stereotype, we expose ourselves to stigmatization and rejection. Assuming ourselves as bisexual women, as mothers, often bring with it the weight of the heterosexual binary taboo that is generated under the narrative that a child needs a mom and a dad to have a “positive” upbringing.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
While there has always been debate and conflict regarding bisexuality — often questioning whether or not it is an actual sexual orientation — even within the LGBTQ+ community itself, it is a reality for millions of mothers worldwide.
The fear of coming out as a bisexual mother
When it comes to talking about sexual orientation, everyone does it the way they feel most comfortable. But if it’s a topic that comes with so many stigmas, talking about it is often a bit more difficult.
In the case of mothers, this often makes them choose to omit or hide their sexuality to protect their children and families.
The double discrimination that bisexual mothers go through causes much more stress, especially at the beginning of the childbearing period when they are more vulnerable and need more help.
It’s important to leave behind the shame and fear that can come from talking openly about one’s sexual orientation. It is not achieved from one day to the next; it requires patience and willingness to have uncomfortable conversations, always intending to provide information to the other person.
Accepting your sexuality
Many women hide behind the fact that they are mothers to avoid talking about these topics, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Being a mother does not erase the fact that women are still people with attractions and desires because sexuality is not something we should be ashamed of. Much less will detract from our performance as mothers and the love we have for our children.
It is a fact that coming out as bisexual is not the easiest thing, both for your partner, your children, and people close to you, but it is a very necessary small step to have those conversations that will lead us to a better understanding.
Everything starts from within, and there must be the freedom to be who we are in our home, living our truth and accepting ourselves with all our faults and virtues.
We live in a society that does not fully accept that people exist under a whole spectrum of sizes, colors, and sexual orientations, and every small step we take towards this counts. Hopefully, we will be able to be one day in a world free of prejudice where each individual can live without fear.