Image courtesy of Latina Moms.
As parents, one of our biggest responsibilities is to provide our children with a safe environment in which they feel nurtured and loved. It is our duty to comfort them and support them throughout all their endeavors.
We instill core values into them about accepting others for who they are. We teach them that everyone is unique in their own way, and this is what makes them special. We want them to grow up to be kind, gentle souls.
But what happens when your child comes out to you? After years of teaching them all you know, you may feel lost on what to do out of fear of saying the wrong thing.
Thankfully, there are many things you can do that will help you support your children in their coming out process.
Listen
I cannot stress enough how important it is to listen to our children when they finally decide to confide in us, such a crucial part of their identity.
Do not make this about yourself and how you are feeling.
While this can be unexpected for you, you need to give your child the room to speak and feel heard. Don’t say statements about “How you saw this coming” or “Always had a feeling.” They do not need to feel judgment or how this affects you.
Remember, this is not about you; it is about your child.
Educate Yourself
It is important to educate yourself regarding the LGBTQIA community. You may not know exactly what to say or how to help them when they initially come out to you.
This is okay, but you need to be proactive and do research in order to understand and help guide them.
There is a wealth of knowledge online and various organizations that can provide resources.
One of them is PFLAG, an organization created by a mother who wanted to offer support for her gay son.
Remember, your children need an ally. Be committed to becoming a part of the community and research ways in which you can become their ally.
Allow for Self-Expression
Moms, we are always talking about allowing our children to explore the world. We let them play with dirt, eat with their hands, and get down and dirty.
It is vital to allow our children to express themselves during their coming out process. Let them play around with the style of clothing they wear, their hair, and any other accessory that helps them feel in tune with their identity.
This will make them feel supported and feel as if they are in a safe environment where they can be true to themselves.
Let’s actually make an effort to be inclusive and genuinely love our children.