Image courtesy of Latina Moms.
When you decide to share your life with your significant other, you embark on a long journey of merging both of your lives.
While many believe that sharing your life with someone else does not have to mean the end of your identity and independence, the reality is that your life does indeed change.
Allowing someone else to enter your life means having to acknowledge all aspects of their identity: their personality, their family, and their friends. When it comes to family, you never really know what to expect.
Latinos are known for being very family oriented and connected to all family members, including their extended family and distant relatives.
Think primos-terceros, tía abuelas, and tatarabuelas. We have seen time and time again how partners and individuals from other cultures have a hard time keeping up with such an extensive family tree.
So, after understanding just how important family is in the Latino community, what role should your suegro and suegra play in your life? Does having in-laws involved really make life easier?
For starters, one might say that having in-laws present in your life is actually very convenient. Many of us form part of families separated by long distances due to migrating in search of a better future. This, unfortunately, left us growing up without our grandparents, only being able to see each other every few years (if you were lucky enough).
Thus, for those that grew up like this, having in-laws can actually seem like a blessing. Not only will your children have a strong bond with their grandparents and learn to love and appreciate having an extended family, but also they can help guide you through parenting and babysit when you are in a pinch.
However, on the other side of the spectrum, there are, unfortunately, many in-laws that bring a tremendous amount of toxicity and generational trauma along with them.
Listening to unsolicited advice and having them go against everything you have to say in reality will only tamper with your inner peace. They will expose your children to all the things you wanted to protect them from.
In these moments, you have to stop and wonder if having in-laws be a part of your life truly makes it any easier. Or are they just bringing more stress into your life?
Remember, it is up to you to break that cycle. In cases such as these, don’t allow your in-laws to feel indispensable and as if you need them in order to prosper. You are capable of far more than you think.
In the end, every family has different dynamics amongst themselves. Only you can set the boundaries for your family and truly know whether or not your in-laws bring positivity into your life.