Christmas time is filled with so many emotions. We have the joy, the food, and the family reunions. This merry time is perfect for brewing some ill feelings as well.
It’s an unfortunate reality, but the happiest of seasons is one where family quarrels are revisited — or created. It is as inevitable as overeating during the holidays in Latino households.
Though this tradition may feel unavoidable, there are a few things we can do to have smoother family dinners on Christmas.
Think before you speak
If you’re like me, comadres, you blurt out what’s in your mind once you’re triggered. You might know this as “blacking out,” but this type of reaction often comes with consequences. So, do as that old saying states: think before you speak. Think about why you’re upset and evaluate whether an outburst will improve the situation. If not, then sit tightly — Christmas dinners aren’t forever.
Invite them to a discussion
Okay, we know Latino families are not usually as rational as we’d like them to be, but it doesn’t hurt to try asking for a cordial discussion. This has worked for me maybe once or twice before, and it wasn’t as bad. You do, however, need to set the ground rules before beginning. One of the rules should be that if it gets rowdy, then the discussion is over. You could try to have a mediator in the family. Best of luck to you if you choose to try this out!
Ignore them
The older generations in our families didn’t get the same education we did — there’s no denying it. Most of them still don’t understand generational trauma and why understanding their childhood is key to their healing. And no matter how much you try to reason with them, there will be no point. So, this is when you have to realize that it’s best to ignore them. Take large spoonfuls of food and drown them out with music. Or you can simply get up and leave — it’s your life, and your peace matters more than anything.