I remember when my partner and I filed for divorce. I felt like I had failed, but worst of all, I felt like we had failed our son — fue un dolor inmenso. Though I tried my best to give my son the opportunity to grow up in a loving home where his parents were together, it didn’t pan out that way.
Now that a few years have passed by, I understand that this could’ve been the best thing that has happened to our family. It’s given us more unity, sanity, and an incredible amount of endless love. But a lot of this couldn’t have been possible without cultivating an effective co-parenting system with our new significant others.
Amigas, life goes on, and finding love after a divorce should be as normal as breathing. Besides, we deserve to let our kids experience true happiness and love, even if it isn’t with their other parent.
If you’re wondering how to include your significant other (or future significant other) into the co-parenting equation, continue to read below. Having multiple people partake in co-parenting is a team effort and can be successful.
Build trust
You have to remember that there is a little human in between all of this, so the adults have to be as sensitive and mindful as possible. So, make sure your children are allowed to feel comfortable with significant others.
You must allocate enough time to let them voice their concerns and thoughts, though this space must remain open even after establishing trust.
Make sure the adults are also comfortable with one another and. It is important your child gets to experience a safe and healthy environment. Once this part is set, then proper co-parenting can begin.
Communication is key
I can’t stress how vital it is for all parties to actively communicate (about the child or children) at all times. Our co-parenting circle has found it’s easiest to have a group chat where we send updates constantly. Through there, we send weekly pick-up schedules, and it also allows us to have immediate communication with each other should an emergency arise while our son is at school or at any time of the day.
Set proper expectations
It is normal for your significant other to feel overwhelmed at such responsibility, especially if they have their own children. This is why we, as a family, set the expectations we hope everyone involved abides by. For example, the birth parents are the ones that will ultimately have the final word. But that doesn’t mean that significant others’ opinions don’t matter to us because it does. However, we understand that having too many cooks in the kitchen is not always the best recipe for a good family dynamic. Also, part of the expectations we set is that our son comes first — no questions asked.
Think of the ultimate motivator
Overall, we hope everyone understands that being part of a co-parenting situation should be seen as an honor and a privilege. This will shape the child or children involved for the rest of their lives, and it’s not fair for them to witness any ill feelings among the adults. Remember, children are sponges and absorb anything they see. Our job is to make sure that their space remains healthy enough for them to grow up to be effective adults and not burdens to society.