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The Struggles of Being Married to a Latino Immigrant as a First-Gen Latina

Posted by Tatiana Gomez in Culture, Love & Sex on 10/13/22

Latina first gen Latino immigrant marriage Latina Moms Article

It’s no secret that the United States is a country built by immigrants. In fact, more than 40 million people living in the U.S. are from another country. 

If there was one thing about my parents, they always stressed the importance of staying true to who we are. Even if I was born in the United States, they never let me forget my Colombian roots and always made sure I spoke Spanish properly. 

I light up candles on December 7th on el dia de las velitas, and I can proudly sing the national anthem. I always identified and believed I was Colombiana. This comes as no surprise, as the Pew Research Center found that “immigrant and second-generation self-identified Hispanics are most likely to say their parents often talked about their pride in their country of origin roots.”

It wasn’t until I started getting older that I realized many considered me neither Colombian nor American. I was a gringa in Colombia and an immigrant in the U.S. As the famous saying goes, “ni de aqui ni de alla.” 

This started to create an identity crisis within me as I felt I did not belong anywhere. As a first-generation Latina, navigating between cultures was confusing, which turned me into the person I am today. 

This identity crisis reached its peak when I got married to my Colombian husband. He had only been living in the United States for a few months when we first met, and at this point in time, he has only been here for a total of 7 years. 

While we initially thought we were a match made in heaven, we quickly realized it would come with many struggles. Although my parents had raised me to follow Colombian traditions, and my husband was pleased to see this, he failed to realize that I was also exposed to different values at school. We were taught independence, emphasized higher education, and there was a separation of church and state.

I guess you can say I grew up to be a strong, independent woman who honors her Colombian heritage but doesn’t necessarily follow along with the generational trauma and traditional roles. 

The stark differences between us did not become clear to me until I realized the machismo and gender norms. I’ll never forget all the women clutching their pearls inside the church when they saw how I walked myself down the aisle. To them, it was disrespectful, but to me, it was not a big deal.

The arguments were plenty. He could not understand why I couldn’t simply change, and I was frustrated because I felt my sole role was to please his likes. I was the woman, so I needed to tend to my husband’s every need, right? (Not to mention las tias metidas, too.)

But why? If I worked full-time, why was I the one that was expected to cook, clean, and do laundry? Why was I the only one expected to change? 

It’s been a long journey of gracefully and peacefully blending both of our cultures, but with time, it has gotten better. 

You can acknowledge and appreciate all parts of your identity without disrespecting one another. After all, a marriage requires teamwork. 

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A new year has begun, and we're all ready to pack A new year has begun, and we're all ready to pack our closets with the latest fashion trends. 2022 will be a year of change for everyone, and fashion will be no exception as we will see the return of some daring styles while maintaining the comfort of life working from home — thank you, COVID 🙄🙄.⠀
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From daring catsuits to comfortable oversized jackets, 2022 will be the year to spice up our closet. Visit the link in our bio for more!⠀
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#fashionlovers #outfitoftheday #fashionweek #fashionaddict #fashionistas #fashiongram #fashionstyle #fashionable #fashionista #style #latinamoms
At Latina Moms, we've kicked off the year in the b At Latina Moms, we've kicked off the year in the best possible way: by returning to Hogwarts. Twenty years after the Harry Potter saga conquered our hearts, we’ve enjoyed a new adventure with our children -- and boy, was it worth it! Our favorite characters -- who are now our children's favorites -- have taken us on a trip to the magical world wrapping ourselves in goodies this time as a family. Now streaming on @HBOMax. Did you watch the Return to Hogwarts Special? How did it feel?

@PalanteHBOMax  #ReturnToHogwarts #PalanteHBOMax #hbomaxpartner
We are already diving into 2022, and it is time to We are already diving into 2022, and it is time to start working on all those resolutions we promised ourselves before the year began. ⠀
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But let's be honest, most resolutions are often forgotten on a piece of paper in some drawer, and that needs to change!⠀
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These simple-but-effective steps will help you stay true to your resolutions!⠀
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More in the link in bio.⠀
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#resolutions #goals #newyear #fitness #e #motivation #health #love #newyearsresolutions #life #newyears #happynewyear #bonneann #resolution #newyearsresolution #gym #instagood #dec #happy #jan #celebration #soir #weightloss #noexcuses #inspiration #happiness #selfcare #healthyliving #blogger #latinamoms
Yoga has gained tremendous popularity over the yea Yoga has gained tremendous popularity over the years, especially during the pandemic — it became the meditation method of choice for many. ⠀
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A practice that combines physical exercise with meditation to achieve a greater connection with your body, mind, and soul, perfect to start this year, right? 🧘🏽‍♀️🧘🏽⠀
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‍Learn about our fav yoga routines to start the year in the link in our bio!⠀
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The best thing about returning to the magical worl The best thing about returning to the magical world of Harry Potter has been being able to enjoy it as a family. We enjoyed our own version of the Sorting Hat at home, and we had a member of each house in our living room! From the bravery of Gryffindor to the loyalty of Hufflepuff and the intelligence of Ravenclaw to the ambition of Slytherin, we have reminisced together about our favorite saga. And you? Which house do you belong to?⠀
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Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: #ReturnToHogwarts is now streaming on @HBOMax. @PalanteHBOMax  #ReturnToHogwarts #PalanteHBOMax #hbomaxpartner
We start 2022 on the right foot with a new lunar c We start 2022 on the right foot with a new lunar cycle that will recharge our energies and push us to achieve our purposes. 🌑⠀
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We’re talking about the New Moon that begins this January 2nd in Capricorn, the sign of discipline.⠀
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Find out everything you need to know in the link in our bio!⠀
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Taking spirituality into account can help you star Taking spirituality into account can help you start the New Year with determinations — all you need to do is tweak your spiritual ritual. 🔮⠀
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We want to share our easy-to-follow rituals, at least a few of them, so that you can bring light and peace into 2022. We all could use some of that, don’t you agree? 💫⠀
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Check them out in the link in our bio!⠀
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The beginning of a new year might be a bit confusi The beginning of a new year might be a bit confusing. If you’re like us, you might go through brief panics when you try to determine whether a particular task is part of your daily to-do list or is part of your New Year’s resolutions. ⠀
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However, we’ve learned how to manage our tasks and prioritize resolutions from anything else.⠀
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Check out the link in our bio and learn how!⠀
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