What exactly is love? Love is a word that is sometimes thrown around thoughtlessly without truly pondering its meaning.
While it is a feeling that is hard to describe, the consensus is that it is deep emotion, passion, and commitment. It is a special bond you don’t have with anyone else, in which you care for each other and understand each other. It can apply to family, friends, and of course, your partner.
However, relationships require more than just feeling the love. Have you ever felt as if no matter what you do, you can’t seem to meet eye-to-eye with your partner? This may be because you have different love languages.
Love language is like any other language
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, the five love languages are the different ways people like to give and receive love. He revolutionized the world with his book “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts.”
In his book, he describes the five ways in which people like to give and receive love: acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch. He uses his platform to describe these different ways of communicating love based on his ample experience in marriage counseling.
So what happens when you don’t have the same love language as your partner?
It’s essential to understand not only your love language but also your partner’s. As Chapman wrote for Time, “if you don’t learn to speak your partner’s language, they won’t feel loved and nurtured—and vice versa.”
This is why you must take this seriously and understand what makes your partner happy. If you notice your spouse gets more excited when you watch Netflix with them uninterrupted, then their love language is most likely quality time. Don’t go around cleaning the house to make them feel happy (when in reality, acts of service are what speak to you, not them.) It’s all about compromise.
Additionally, and I cannot stress this enough, communicate. Listen, no one is a mind reader. Even if your partner has delirios de bruja, they do not know what you think or feel. It is essential to communicate so things are not left unsaid. Ask your partner what makes them feel loved. Don’t just assume. After all, we are all unique. Make sure you communicate what makes you feel loved too.
This way, you can approach your relationship in a way that will bring about positive change. If your partner likes to receive gifts, pick up their favorite chocolate bar or bag of chips at the gas station while you fill your tank.
If they want words of affirmation, make sure to compliment them. Pay attention to any changes they make to their physical appearance or praise them for their job performance. Make it a habit rather than a once-in-awhile occurrence. This way, you are constantly nurturing your relationship.
And if you really can’t seem to agree, it is okay to ask for help. Seek a couple’s counseling so you can have an impartial party guiding and supporting you, offering you the tools to heal and improve your relationship.