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Today, we understand that there are many forms of family. There are single-mother, grandparent-grandchild, chosen, and homoparental families.
However, in our Latino community, it is difficult to explain to our seniors that there are many definitions of family. Either by tradition or context, Latinos tend to understand the family from the classic conception of the “basic nucleus of society” and the reproductive perspective.
In short, we understand the family from the heterosexual concept of its construction.
This is how I explain to my extended Latina family the love and values of my homoparental home.
Bringing concepts down to earth to explain a homoparental home
The most common argument against homoparental families is “the risk that all the children will be gay” or that they will be somehow different from the children of heterosexual families.
The reality is that over thirty years of scientific research have found no differences in sexual and/or gender identity between children raised by heterosexual parents and those raised by same-sex parents.
In fact, the only difference that exists is that children with same-sex parents score higher on psychosocial aspects of their health.
Involve the family in the process
There is no better way to break down stigmas than by normalizing our realities. Involving our extended family in our family activities is the best window into our reality.
Outdoor activities, barbecues at home, or even bringing that homophobic tía to our gatherings with friends from the LGBTQ+ community who are also parents are often the best scenario to override any discriminatory arguments.
Finally, always start with love
One of my favorite arguments for homophobic people is that of my own experience. The fact that my parents are heterosexual did not guarantee either my heterosexuality or the absence of childhood trauma. In fact, looking back, I have come to realize that much of our process of coming out and leading a full life involves more reflection and introspection than the average heterosexual person carries into their life.
In the end, what counts is parental love, sincerity, and honesty, values that in our homoparental home are lived from having healed society’s rejection and knowing that together, with love, we go further.