We hear all types of suggestions and advice when it comes to the ideal soulmate. I mean, isn’t it crazy how by the time you reached high school, you most likely had an idea of what you’re looking for when it comes to your perfect partner?
Why is it such a huge deal anyway? Why are we expected to grow up fantasizing about weddings, love, and having a family since being introduced to fairytales?
On the surface, it may seem like a traditional mindset, especially in Latino families. In a conventional Latino household, chances are you grew up learning how to be a wife, get married to your “soulmate,” and have kids – the end. And diving into it, those ideologies seem kind of toxic in 2022.
First and foremost, it expedites any self-love practices and puts you in an awkward position of searching for love without knowing how to love yourself first. How are you supposed to find your soulmate without knowing yourself first?
That’s why it’s important to step away from the idea of putting all our efforts into finding a soulmate before finding inner self-love first.
This may seem a lot to unpack, but it’s an idea worth entertaining. Here’s why breaking away from the idea of a soulmate actually helped me cultivate a better relationship – not just with my partner but with myself.
It made me realize you can’t rely on one “soulmate” for everything
This takes off so much pressure on future relationships. Realizing that I’m my own “soulmate” prepared me for a better relationship with not only myself – but for the way I treat others. Relying on one person for everything can lead you to a codependent relationship which may potentially become toxic.
Breaking away from the theory of a soulmate being everything helped me recognize that love comes within. Sounds cheesy, doesn’t it? Well, it’s powerful once you realize that nobody’s presence or absence will ever bother you if you’ve mastered self-love – and that’s liberating, to say the least.
And it helped me practice self-love more
If you’re still locked into the idea of one person bettering your life upon meeting them – think again. A soulmate won’t fix your mental health. If you have low self-esteem, you’ll most likely still have it – with or without a partner.
Breaking away from the theory of a soulmate being everything helped improve my self-love journey. The self-compassion I now cultivate within myself is now a tool I utilize with others.
Ultimately, straying away from this fixed soulmate idea helped me come to terms with myself and what I was looking for.
And what’s better than a clear, realistic idea of your ideal partner?