The Groom’s Guide to Weddings
By Wesley Oaks, Imanscape.com
There are many guides out there for women surrounding the time before, during, and after their wedding. There are a lot of tips and great information to make the process and their experience a pleasant and smooth one. With the piles of stress that come with getting married these great resources are extremely useful and will calm your nerves.
However, as a man, the groom, it’s just as important for you to be ready for your big day! Men get equally as nervous and there’s far less information available. We at iManscape want to guide you through your wedding to make sure you’re well prepared and we’ve got plenty of tips and reminders you’ll want to know.
This is an amazing time in your life and this article aims to make sure you look your best, perform your best, and have a completely stress-free experience.
Getting Into The Right Mindset
Making sure you’re in the right frame of mind is the first step towards making everything a top-notch experience. You’re going to be told the wedding is “her big day!” and the way the wedding industry is built you’re going to feel like a prop in your own wedding that’s only meant to make the bride stand out.
Think about it… it’s even referred to as the “bridal industry”. I’m not saying you should try to steal her thunder because that’s definitely not what you want to do! Instead, your frame of mind should be about working as a strong team and helping out as much as possible.
Don’t be the guy who lets his wife handle everything. Even if she says you shouldn’t worry about any of the planning. Get involved because marriage is about showing your commitment to her. Make sure she knows you want the big day to be just as special as she wants it to be.
Know Your Role in Wedding Planning
While no one’s wedding is the same and you want your wedding to be unique to you we’ve put together some tips that you can pick and choose from. While your wife may not let you pick out the color theme or the details of the wedding cake you as the groom still have pre-wedding responsibilities. Here’s what you should know.
Take Advantage of the Rehearsal Dinner – Even though no one really rehearses at these dinners anymore this is an excellent opportunity to spend quality time with close family and friends. During the actual wedding day, you may not have the same opportunity since you’ll have more guests.
Try to talk with each person and thank them for attending. This is also a great time to bring a small gift for each person at the dinner to say thank you. This way on the actual wedding day the people closest to you won’t feel out of the circle and instead will feel appreciated.
Tone Down Your Selfies – In today’s age of social media and quick snap pictures we’ve become selfie-taking fiends. During these days leading up to your wedding and the day of you’re going to be looking your best and it’ll be tempting to take more selfies.
Instead, limit the number of selfies you’re taking. Especially on the day of your wedding. Instead, make sure you’ve hired photographers and let them do their jobs. The more selfies you’re taking the less time you’re spending enjoying your wedding. Spend more time in the moment!
Picking Your Groomsmen – If you have a lot of close friends the more difficult this task is to do. The simplest way to do this is to write your friends names down as they come to your mind. You’ll likely think of the friends closest to you first.
Once you complete the list of friends anyone after #5 should be an usher or cut from the list as a groomsman. It’s a tough decision but it’s one every groom has to make.
Refining the Guest List – Be confident in your guest list and stand firm on it. Surround yourself with people who are important to you. Just remember that it’s your and your wife’s wedding and no one else’s so, don’t let anyone else persuade you into making changes you don’t want to make.
A Unique First Dance – One thing that is often overlooked is the music for the first dance. It’s too easy to pick a classic song that everyone has seen before at other weddings. Instead, pick a song that’s unique to you and your wife. Aim for something that sparks a great memory between both of you.
Don’t worry about the song being too different. It’s a song that should be different and picked just for the two of you.
Having an Open Bar – Having an open bar at your wedding can be great but it can also be expensive. However, it doesn’t have to be. You can have pre-selected cocktails, pre-made drinks, or even beer on tap. Our recommendation is to do what you can to make it work. There’s already a lot of tension and social awkwardness and open bars are great to help everyone loosen up a bit.
Wedding Planning: The Fun Side!
While all of the duties above are still be fun the ones below take the cake. They’re also some unique ideas that could be fun to make your wedding really stand out.
Choosing Wedding Transportation – How cool would it be to have all your groomsmen drive up in matching cars? Rent everyone matching BMW’s or convertibles and you’ll definitely be the groom of the decade with a wedding all your groomsmen will be talking about for some time to come.
Spice Up the Pictures – You can add small tweaks to your attire for wedding pictures. Think of things like using superhero socks or ties for each groomsman. These are easy to remove or replace on the wedding day. Do you enjoy fishing or camping? Use a fishing pole as a prop showing your groomsmen reeling you back in. There are plenty of cool ideas out there.
The Honeymoon – Your wife will have her hands full picking out her perfect wedding. So, take over the honeymoon 100% if she’ll let you. Don’t make your honeymoon just another vacation and find things to do once you get there.
Instead, plan out the details from top to bottom. Timeout activities you both enjoy and don’t forget to calendar in visits to the spa. She’s going through a lot of work with wedding planning and it’s your turn to show both of you a great time. The least she knows the more spontaneous you can be.
Groomsmen: How to Take Care of Them
Your groomsmen are going to be your responsibility and it’ll be your job to make sure everyone is looking top notch. The key here is actually to not do anything too drastic. Don’t make a spare of the moment decision or let your groomsmen make one to get a haircut they’ve never had before. Instead, keep everything simple.
Many grooms do their bachelor parties different but it’s a good idea to use that day out with the boys in a purposeful way. Here’s a quick list of activities you should consider doing before you jump into the “fun stuff”.
Get Fitted – If you don’t want to appear like penguins wearing bagging clothing you should get everyone fitted for their tux or suit. Even if you’re going with a more relaxed attire make sure everyone pants are at good lengths, shoes fit well, and everyone looks spiffy.
Tackle Facial Hair – You don’t want to shave the day of your wedding but the day before. This way if you end up with any nicks or cuts you’re not bleeding or have visible red cuts in your wedding pictures. You’ll also avoid having red skin in those pictures if you get unlucky with some skin irritation.
Grab yourself an electric shaver and shave those whiskers down if you’re going to shave. Once the electric shaver has tackled the bulk you can finish up with your safety razor.
Keeping the Beard? – If anyone’s keeping their beard that’s fine but make sure to tidy it up! If everyone in your groomsmen group needs some facial hair maintenance it can be fun to visit a barber as a group or have a barber come to you. Just remember to tidy things up and don’t go crazy.
Don’t Forget the Nails – On wedding day you’re not going to be thinking about trimming and cleaning your nails. Tackle this the day or so before your wedding. It’s modern times and taking your groomsmen for a massage and manicure can be fun before heading to the local bar.
Don’t Forget Your Groomsmen’s Gifts
Your gifts don’t need to be expensive but it’s a good gesture to give each of your groomsmen a little something. I’ve seen people give bottles of whiskey, .50 caliber bullet bottle openers, and initial key chains. No matter what you choose to do the best time to hand these out are at either the boys day out or rehearsal dinner.
Here are some other gift options you might like.
Man Crates – This company offers different small wooden crates filled with a genre of goods. They have beef jerky crates, BBQ & grilling, hot sauces, and other crates to choose from. It would be a unique gift with a spark of manliness.
Sports Tickets – Depending on the time of year buying tickets to a sporting event can be awesome gifts. No matter what seating you choose.
Subscriptions – Buying 6 months of Hulu, Netflix, Spotify, or some other subscription service can be an excellent gift. You can pick up prepaid visa cards and use them to activate accounts with a certain number of months on each card if the provider doesn’t have prepaid options.
What to Tackle a Few Days Early
Since you’ll have hundreds of things running through your mind handle your hygiene early. This includes taking extra small steps you may not always take on a daily basis. Begin using facial masks, cleansers, and lotions to make sure your skin looks great for your pictures.
Maybe do a little manscaping ahead of time for your wedding night. Take all the stops with baby powder, trimmers, and getting bare below the belt. Doing this ahead of time will make sure you’re not itchy during your wedding day.
Some other things you may not have thought about are trimming eyebrows, waxing nose hairs, and removing ear hair. Make sure your fingernails and toenails are trimmed and clean. Some of these things can be done on your boys day out if you choose to get a group manicure and pedicure. If you’ve never had one they feel amazing!
Your main focus for early hygiene is tackling the things that take longer to grow back. For everything else write down a short list to remind yourself and stick it in your bathroom mirror. That may sound petty or minor but trust me you’ll have everything else on your mind and these small notes help.
How to Make Your Attire Stand Out!
The following tips are for looking your best in your suit or tux. These small changes will make a huge impact on how you’re going to look wearing your attire. If you’re not well versed in the art of wearing suits or a tux then please pay special attention to this section. It’ll make the difference.
Use Collar Stays – Collar stays are small metal pieces that tuck into the pointed end of your collar. It keeps the tips of your collar from curling inward and keeps them straight. It’s a subtle change that makes a big difference.
Cufflinks – Wearing these small pieces can upgrade your appearance. Cufflinks also fit in well for both extremely fancy weddings and laid back weddings. You could possibly wear superman cufflinks and no one would likely notice but from a distance, they upgrade your overall attire.
Cummerbund – This piece of fabric often comes with a tux. It’s the centerpiece you wear around your waist. They come and go in popularity but they can be slimming and do look nice. It’s not required to be worn with your tux but if you choose to wear one it would be best if your groomsmen wore one also. If you choose to not wear the cummerbund then you should wear a vest.
Shoes & Socks – Make sure your shoes are well polished. If you don’t know how to polish your own shoes make sure to take them somewhere that does. Your socks should be black or a dark color and patterns are usually fine since they won’t be in sight unless you’re sitting or certain poses for pictures.
Boutonniere – It’s the one flower that the groom typically has to worry about. It’s the small flower you wear on the chest of your attire. It’s a good idea to match these flowers to the color of the flowers the bridesmaids will be holding. Usually, these are small budding roses but can be other flowers.
Avoid These – If you’re wondering if you should wear a watch it’s recommended to wear a small thin band silver watch. However, it’s actually best to avoid wearing a watch all together. Also, avoid wearing a top hat and gloves. These items are usually paired with a white tie tux with a long tailcoat. You’ll be better off avoiding most add-ons like these.
5 Must Take Wedding Photo’s
You’re going to be taking tons of pictures on the big day and it’s important to have plenty with your bride but here are some other fun photo ideas for you and your groomsmen to take together.
The End: Giving A Thank You Toast
Giving a speech is one of the most feared parts of a wedding for men. Having to stand up in front of everyone and speak is a fear of a lot of people but your speech doesn’t have to be long or even well planned as the groom. During speech time as events are winding down, you’ll typically be the final person to give one.
You’re really giving more of a thank you speech. You can keep it simple but just make sure to thank the people who helped make your wedding special. That includes people who catered the wedding, assisted, and even those who drove from further away to be there. They all pitched in one way or another to help make your wedding special.
That’s about it… no long story or humor needed.