Is Overparenting Stressing Our Kids?
Have you stopped to think about the negative effects of helicopter parents on their kids? Could you be a helicopter parent? High standards for your kids? Check. Academic performance pressure? Check. Over-booked and over-worked students with excess homework after soccer practice, tennis, swimming and piano lessons? Check. Extra and unhealthy stress? Sadly, check. We need to de-clutter our children from the stress overparenting has over them. It doesn’t mean your ‘mamá gallina’ style is wrong. You care about your children, so it’s completely understandable that you want to be there every single step of the way! But for them to feel independent and have a happy childhood as well, we need to recognize the effects of helicopter parents and know when to let go.
Being there for your child is always well intended, but some of the effects of helicopter parents could lead to your children feeling anxiety, depressed and plain and simple unhappiness. If you’re too intrusive, and you take over any chance your child has an issue, then you rob him of the opportunity to grow, to fend for himself, to mature. Even really young children who have mothers that are too strict, aggressive and too directive at play end up throwing their toys and experiencing anxiety.
So instead of directing them, encourage them. Let them be playful, make mistakes and open up. Be all ears when it comes to their issues. Talk to them. Create a safe haven in your persona. Someone they trust their feelings to, without being judged. Let them make mistakes and later on, discuss why those things happened freely. Admit when you’ve been vulnerable, or plain wrong. Let them see you in your human form, not just in your amazing supermom role which might make them feel you never make mistakes. Let them develop resourceful skills to get out of this pickle all on their own. Their mental health and future will thank you for it.